Country House Party

Country House Party

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This Is How To Protect Your Home From Burglars, According to Burglars

Numbers show that burglars love to burgle in December, during the holidays of course, and/or hoarding expensive, stealable gifts in their homes—but we all know burglaries can happen at any given moment. In an attempt to help you protect your abode from these Christmas-killing scoundrels any time of year, I decided to ask some retired and imprisoned burglars what precautions they might suggest someone take to defend their precious goods from people like them.

It went horribly! 

Several outright refused to speak with me; one informed me that I “have no idea” about “that life”; another was surprisingly helpful until his “attorney advised him against doing this.” Which, honestly, I can respect.


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